Letting go of Illusion

I was a student nurse when I first began to sense currents of Life Force. At the time I didn’t know what was happening. During my daily duties as I bathed, massaged and changed the bedclothes for my patients, I began to be aware of a fluid sensation streaming through my hands and fingers. I thought the feeling was my imagination. I thought I was creating a fantasy – I felt that a loving power was moving around me and through me, infusing myself and my patients with the hope, the tenderness, the strength needed for their healing. The feeling seemed to make the work on the wards easier, I felt lighter and more in touch with my patients.

I was only nineteen and determined to not shut down to the reality I was given day by day – bodies emaciated, limbs in perpetual contraction, deep, weeping bedsores, drug-induced apathy. Adults and children crushed, broken, some just decaying, not TV images but living flesh, Real. So, in my ignorance, I thought the currents I was feeling were a product of my own imagination – something I needed to keep me going when the pain of what I was realizing about the human condition was almost too great to bear.

Many years later, with the help of a teacher, I was shown that the fluid tenderness, the loving, healing lightness, was not a fantasy at all. It was demonstrated to me that what I had thought was imagination was in fact my direct experience of the subtle substance out of which all of creation arises. I realized the simple truth: The Source of all Life – God – is ever-present and palpable.

This transformation of my understanding has brought about a transformation also of my life. Once I knew what was real, I could do nothing else with my life but share the gift of knowledge I had received.

At the time of that realization I began inviting groups of people to my home to explore the movement of the current, to explore vibrational rapport and group consciousness. We met every Monday evening. Now, twenty-five years later, we still meet every Monday evening although the people who made up the group at that time have moved on and been replaced several times.

Working with me now is a small circle of people who realize that humanity as a whole is awakening. We recognize that at sub-atomic or vibrational levels, humanity is One Body and that separation from one another or from our Source is illusion. We are ordinary people living ordinary lives but with deepening understanding of the nature of reality. Day by day we do the work necessary to offer on-going workshops, gatherings, retreats, individual counselling. We cook, we prepare meals, we clean, we garden, we tend to our guests’ needs, we answer telephones, do our filing, pay our bills, and we do this without being paid because we have discovered that the privilege of serving in this way is the joy that most nourishes our lives, our bodies and our spiritual evolution.

Although I no longer work in a hospital, I know now that the energies I felt in my hands while I worked with hospital patients move always amongst us and I seek to educate so that others may be freed from the illusion that the palpable presence of our Creator, our Sustainer, is only imagination.

Be still, listen with your heart. Trusting love, we do come to know God.